Virtual Peer Review

Virtual Peer Review Script

Carlo De Castro:

1.     I enjoyed the tone and delivery of the project. You kept it easy and straight forward with great examples and personal entries. It captured my attention through humorous statements made about the “stereotypical Asian household” and family stereotypes in general, I could relate.

2.     (a) Your project is about how your family and schooling career impacted your choice in literature and writing technique.

(b) The paper provides examples and separate topics in every paragraph that essentially relate or tie back to your thesis.

(c) You have stated influential events, experiences, books, and goals that have shaped your writing and reading life for the future.

3.     An area I can see some more detail added would be your high school life just because it exposes us to large variations of writing and reading. There’s opportunity to provide more depth in your experience or titles of influential books, teachers, etc.

4.     “Each of your paragraphs discusses only one idea, and everything in the paragraph is related to that specific idea.” 

5.     Your paper tells a story I want to read and continue reading. It holds my attention through some well-placed relatable stories about your personal life. The papers pace is fluid and not overwhelming. I felt your high school paragraph might have had some more room to expand and explain. You may be able to dive deeper with your English class experiences or any other class that may have shaped your writing and reading. You may also be able to name specific books or teachers who you hated or loved, teacher stories are the often entertaining (be them awesome teachers or lame).

Doyle Jones:

1.     I like reading about your personal life and it somehow has a good taste of humor. You advertise the outdoors so well, I might just go fishing this weekend. You have a style of writing that’s pretty awesome to read and relate to.

2.     (a) The paper is about how your childhood, people, and lifestyle influenced the reading and writing in your life.  

(b) I think your paper does a pretty good job addressing all your points. Every topic had a story.

(c) Yeah, in your paper I found examples in life that demonstrated the evolution in your love and/or hate for reading and writing.

3.     Since you’re an outdoorsmen I think a paragraph can be dedicated to writing or reading for your future be it about the outdoors or mechanical engineering. Cars are badass, I think talking about how they need some writing and reading to build would be expansive.

4.     Each of your paragraphs discuss only one idea, and everything in the paragraph is related to that specific idea.

5.     Your paper is comical and keeps me reading. Your examples flow well and sync to your thesis effectively. This paper is creative and sets me up for the next sentence. You can add more depth by including your specific career choice and its relationship with reading or writing. You have a love for the outdoors and reading more about the potential fishing, hunting, BMX-ing has on influencing your writing or reading would be a good touch.